astrological analysis

Saturn in Scorpio - Redux ... A Note on Inner Strength, Transformation and Spiritual Evolution

photo-1418065460487-3e41a6c84dc5.jpeg

I do not love the energy of Saturn in Scorpio. Probably because Scorpio also rules my 12th house and lord knows, the 12th house (as I have learned through this treacherous transit) can be an unpleasant room of faceless anxiety and emotional terribleness.  However, inexplicable emotional turmoil aside, I am appreciating this final ingress for the motivation it's given me to go the extra mile on the physical, emotional, and spiritual house cleaning left undone when Saturn went into enthusiastic Sag this December. I think what's happening with this little dip back into Scorpio that lasts throughout the summer is that since we have begun the Sagittarius visioning process in the earlier part of the year, we have a bit more clarity about WHAT our problems in life really are, and WHY we need to make the effort to resolve them. We now have a much more tangible understanding of how making certain changes really serves our immediate and long term goals. Additionally, there's likely been some progress made since last fall that is allowing for changes to take place now that were not possible then.  We are finishing up business, tying up loose ends, and making deep life adjustments that will be essential for our future growth -- and even more specifically -- our long term mental & emotional health.

Scorpio governs psychological processing, sexuality, shared resources, raw emotion, grief, birth and death. The past few years of Saturn in Scorpio has been one of experiencing the psychological blockages that we might have around any or all of the above issues, recognizing them, and working to open up a process of healing.

Saturn in Scorpio is really about commitment to our own empowerment. So often we think that this is as simple as saying "Go" only to find that authenticity as an actuality is an arduous task of parsing through one's own misgivings, societal conditioning, childhood wounding, etc. What Saturn in Scorpio shows us is the true nature of power -- A person does not become truly authentic, thus truly powerful, without enduring the full experience of their own darkness and going through the process of transmutation and transformation. Power in the form of wealth or status can display itself so brightly and seem so convincing, but if it is all a facade, it is ultimately a house of cards that will someday fall down. True power comes through humility, surrender, and commitment to the absolute truth of oneself on all levels.  Under the eye of Saturn we are directed to face ourselves, our fears, and the hidden ways we behave in order to recognize the way our falseness undermines our strength.

To be our whole self takes courage and integrity.  Scorpio energy in its ultimate is the pure, raw, and honest merging with the infinite mysterious power of primal chaos.  It is the fearless knowing and embodiment of our true soul -- the freedom from all the suppression and oppression.  We all want this, yet the profound fear of it can cause us to behave in so many strange ways -- clinging to the things that feel "safe" but are in fact illusory, attempting to control every outcome, and so forth.  Even the desperate and crisis driven "survival mode" Scorpionic folks can fall into is a type of emotional safety and psychological clinging.  The power of the Scorpio spirit, however, is its ability to be in crisis and remain open to the possibility of its own, inevitable death.  We cross these thresholds of fear -- that of life and death -- to meet transformation.  Invariably, in these moments of giving in to that which seems the most frightening, something about us does die, even if it is not our physical body.  But in the process we have met the true self and liberated it.

Though I would not describe these vibes as particularly pleasant, they are productive. We have a few months to excavate and steam clean some final dark, murky space in our psyche. Or at least bring it to light in some way to later set it free. It may be an unpleasant task but we're sure to feel better when it's over, and ready to move on to bigger and better things with a great deal more clarity and peace of mind.

April 18, 2015: New Moon in Aries "Divine Inspiration"

This Saturday, we step out of eclipse season with a refreshing new moon in Aries. The eclipse cycle brought the energy of “letting go” to culmination in a powerful way. Through the past several weeks and months we have learned lessons about “letting go” that perhaps we haven’t known in quite this way before. The season of dissolution was spelled out in the charts, but in walking through it, so much more is being revealed to me about what this time in humanity is really about.

43e39040.jpeg

The things we’ve been releasing are deep, old, and often subconscious. They are issues long standing, going far beyond just ourselves and often into the ancestry and history we have been brought into. To me, this is the world changing from the inside out. This is a moment in time when we have a much higher ability to see what's past as past, and move in the now as now.  We are sloughing off our most deep-seated conflicts with unprecedented ease and finding the creative force within us that feels empowered to make real changes.

What I have been observing is that replaying the story behind the conflict or wound is less and less important. Yes, there may be some tears and sad feelings, but at the end of it, when we find ourselves exhausted by the act of holding on, the concern for the past fades quickly and we're directed to the next thing.  The process is simply a matter of acknowledging what caused us pain, and then making conscious choices to invite new energy into our lives.  No fanfare and no drama necessary.

The Libra full moon brought up issues of balance in all facets of our lives, most especially our close intimate relationships. Relationships are often where we meet the alchemical fire with the most intensity. Our partners are our mirrors. It is through our close personal relationships where we are most challenged to live out the things we might find much easier to do with acquaintances, clients, business partners, etc. – Listen truly, have compassion, be independent yet united, make changes and compromises, and really, truly, let go. Relationships teach us everything we need to know about ourselves and how we approach the world. Where do we need to stand up for ourselves? (Aries) Where should we soften, yield and compromise? (Libra) What is really important in life – being right (Aries) or being together (Libra)? Are all things equal and respected (Libra) or is one partner getting his or her way only (Aries)? Are we making unreasonable demands when there is a middle road? Or is there something else that might be more true, more fulfilling, more in line with our life as it stands now?

These are the questions I observed in the countless relationship eruptions that have appeared before me in the past several weeks. The basic energy of the lunar eclipse brought up all of our issues and conflicts, in particular the desire to be free of controlling influences brought on by the people and things in our lives, as well as intense release within our own selves surrounding subconscious behaviors that keep us feeling caged. The wisdom that came through, for me, was that when we agree to let go and truly listen in a relationship, we are also agreeing to abandon the irritating and often pointless loops we cycle through with our closest loved ones. Rather than reengage, reattach, and reinjure, we can come to the point of realization that some things are better left where they are, and that real freedom from the conflict comes from acceptance, forgiveness, and the conscious will to move forward. To make the choice of healing, listening, and caring – all of the things we really want out of our relationships and so often find elusive when we get hung up on the offenses. Letting go is as simple as recognizing that it is not necessary to reengage with negative experiences or emotions, especially if our wish is to be free of them. We can actually just say OK, I’m ready to move forward, and do that.

So in the spirit of that, I am ready move on and talk more about the fantastic energy of this New Moon in Aries.

I felt it was important to speak on my further reflections about the nature of “letting go” as it has come to us these past months because Aries is so much about initiation and creating the new. Recent times have given us a lot information about what we don’t want, what we need to get rid of, and so forth. As such, we should have a much clearer idea of what we truly do want. What makes your heart sing? Where do you feel in your groove? What gives you strength? What aspects of your life would you most like to focus on reforming and rebuilding? Who are you now?

This is one of the best times of year to set intentions for the seeds we’d like to plant for the future. Whether they be intentions to improve upon yourself in some fashion, bring certain new energies into your relationships, your business, your social life, to finish or start projects, improve your financial situation, find your true calling, or really, just about anything that you would like to see be different in your life, this is a great time to initiate progress on those aspects.

What I am seeing in the chart of this Aries New Moon is that what we are initiating is strongly intertwined with our ideals and sense of “higher purpose.” We’ve spent a lot of time this winter reflecting on our impediments, and asking ourselves what holds us back. Now it’s time to define what we want to do and be and then do it! Green light, go!

Of course, know that we are still in for some months of limbo between starting new things, and clearing out the old. Both of these things are happening simultaneously, but the phase of action is coming in more strongly, as the phase of release recedes somewhat. What is important right now is not that it all needs to be done exactly as we picture it right away, but to really envision and feel what it is we’re looking to align with and to start laying the groundwork in real time.

The energy of this new moon feels fresh and joyful to me. It feels serious and determined, yet wholehearted and free. We get to work with our life from a clean slate, if we wish it to be so. We get to reshape our life as we see fit, if we have the courage. The structure of things seems more malleable, giving way to a sense that the possibilities are truly endless… the only thing that stands in between who we are in this moment, and who we wish to be in the future, is work. So thus it is liberating, but also focused – as it lies on the individual to create the desired outcome. In the greater context, all of our individual dreams for a positive future, for a world that stands for love, and our inner work to make such a thing so in our lives, is the force that shifts the outer world to be closer to what we have hoped it to be. It is requiring considerable effort on the parts of everyone who desires to create their life around their essential joy, goodness, and happiness – but it is also a cumulative effort. The more the possibilities of joyful living are expressed through individuals, the more openness is allowed for more and more people to claim their own form of joy.

It is my perspective that the most beautiful gift we can give in life and in service, is the complete embodiment of our own true selves. To caretake, to perform, to teach, to share, to write, to sing, to anaylize, to build – wherever it is we find our brilliance. Wherever it is we provide in a way that brings us a feeling of our own warmth. These are the things that are truly important for us to believe in, to develop, and to become.

Aries is the sign of innocence. It knows not and cares not about others. It never compares itself, it just lets itself be who it is, charging its way through life, perhaps, but nonetheless, a fearless and direct force.

Find the heart of this within yourself. Not from a space of ego, headiness, or grandiosity – but from the distilled truth of the past several weeks, months, and years.

Who are you really? And what have you come to be?

Courage, integrity, fortitude.

These are the pillars we develop through the positive use of trying experiences. Through all choices to walk in the world as we are and as we wish the world to be. It is our willingness to endure and to evolve that gets us to the next level. Be righteous with your choices, and the world can become something more beautiful and something more great.

Aries energy, despite its reputation for its me first perspective, impulsive behavior, and volatility, carries with it an important reminder:

EVERYTHING STARTS WITH YOU.

Everything we do, everything we want, everything we are.

Who are you really? What is at your core? What is it you want most deeply, more than anything else in the world?

Embrace it. Be it. Live it.

And pour it out through your heart as inspired lightness, true happiness, and love.

A Season of Love & Surrender: Total Solar Eclipse on the Spring Equinox

enhanced-30082-1396642694-22.jpg

My writing about eclipses has lost some of its thunder due to the amazing abundance of great information already out there about what is going on in a technical sense. I felt -- Why add to the redundancy? Instead, I wrote a piece to cover everything I was just simply feeling intuitively about the Solar Eclipse chart, and in my own life. The biggest message I received in my contemplations of 29 Pisces was “The end of victim consciousness and realizing the divine order.” So I present some words on all that I have been seeing, feeling, and experiencing with reference to these recent and momentous astrological currents...

The old self is dying. The future is arriving. Our grief is profound, our new freedom amazing. What we want and wish for the past we know is no longer, and we let it go. Maybe joyfully, maybe with some reluctance. We love and embrace who we were, we celebrate everything that we’ve been through these tumultuous years -- we feel all of our pain, all of our joy, as one unified emotion of gratitude. Blessed to have known these octaves of experience, blessed to have received the gift of life – in this moment, at this time, at this place. Life is different now, the world is different now.  It has all been altered – permanently and irreversibly. For better or worse, everything has changed.

We knew all along that one day this change would come. At least, many of us did – if not consciously, then somewhere deep in our cells. We knew that there would be a moment in time when the world itself was to pass through a threshold of being and that every glorious romance of life as we once knew it would yield to the current of memory. We let go of what we cannot carry. We surrender even our most cherished parts. And we do so with the hope and the anticipation of a future that is beyond the bittersweet and delicate well of our past. A future that, until now, has resided only in dreams.

Today is the day we end our consciousness of victimhood and take full responsibility for our soul purpose. Now is the time to realize our authentic self expression, to create our high ideals, to be our dreamselves. This is the moment we make our final break from the old paradigms – purge the collective record of karma through magical thinking and free our value from sinking foundations. It is not the external world that needs to be righted, it is us. Ourselves. No outer form truly changes without the authentic evolution of inner conditions. Take off the masks. Especially the ones that seem the most real.

Release history, embrace love. This is not just new age tripe or a dismissal of the real. A friend offered this message at precisely the moment I fumbled to find these same words: “We can no longer teach through pain.” Have gratitude for your loss. Hold your pain in your arms and squeeze it with all your love and compassion. Then turn it over. Ask the universe to bring the love you feel for that old self into the present day, into your current relationships, into what you share with others. Remove your own bitterness, your own anger. Remove the bitterness, sadness, and regret of your ancestors. Tell them you will live out your destiny, whatever that may be, whatever it may mean. Be open to change. We live our destiny for the highest good of all peoples past and present. We step into our conscious power in order to completely surrender into divine service. Releasing, purifying, questing, feeling, experiencing – hurt, loss, joy, love, anger, grief, despair, elation – to know it, to know us, deeply, all of it – this is the purpose of life on earth.

There is a world beyond our suffering. It is deep and rich. Full and vibrant. There is a world beyond our fear. It is light and free. Open and endless. Do not tarnish it with doubt, heavy expectations or social chains. We are all capable of complete freedom. We are all capable of seeing reality – Oneness, divine harmony. We all can know our true center, which is the same as knowing truth. Sincere intent, humble gratitude, virtuous action, heartfelt humanhood. The simple path to joy.

In choosing to accept all that is offered to us in life, whether it looks just how we think it should or not, whether it ends up hurting in the end or not, whether it is the final destination or not, we choose to open to every possibility, every learning. We open to Tao, Source, The Divine Flow, God, Our Higher Self -- whatever words you choose to express the concept of deep, intimate connection with the unique rhythm of your own individual design and its place in the greater cosmos. The Divine Order of Pisces is in accepting life as it is, with no alterations, no manipulations, and to live from our heart – emanating, eternally, the infinite vibration of Divine Love -- and surrendering everything, absolutely everything, that could possibly interfere with that state of supreme acceptance.  Holiness.  Oneness.

We can all be this.  It is not something we even have to acquire.

A final word, from my Sifu: “Surrender to the Universe and the Universe will surrender to you.”

The Tao of February 2015's Astrological Weather: Reflections on Mercury Retrograde, Venus & Mars in Pisces, the Wounds of Chiron & the Waves of Neptune

photo-1413913619092-816734eed3a7.jpeg

On a recent episode of one of my regularly enjoyed astro radio shows, Astrologer Heather Roan Robbins made the comment that “One of the great gifts of Astrology is that it allows us to be where we’re at.” This can apply to so many things in Astrology, but she was talking, of course, but the recent influx of Piscean laziness that seems to have stricken many as both Mars & Venus (the two planets which rule our social nature and action/motivation) transited Pisces in conjunction with a powerful Mercury Retrograde in Aquarius. I, myself, have enjoyed this time taking it easy and encouraged the others I encounter in my days to remember that it’s really OK if they don’t feel like pushing themselves too hard right now – this is a lazy, slow moving, lackadaisical vibe. We’ve been licking old wounds and pampering tired bones. There will be time for action later – for now, just let it all be. For myself, personally, the rest and reflection period was much needed to tie up the extremely hectic Horse year. I have been working quite a lot with Neptunian realms for the past several years, and when these extra potent phases of dreamy, floaty, watery energies pass through, I am reminded that there can be a great deal accomplished in states of “non-doing.” As a person whose strengths are in every element BUT water, this has been challenging for me to learn.  On a cultural level, we have become so obsessed with producing, having results, and doing that we almost completely disregard the moments of simple refinement that these Piscean realms represent. Really -- all healing, all joy, all beauty, all abundance, all true love – comes to us not through a state of doing but through a state of allowing. No matter what we might want there are just some things in life that cannot be forced into being – they either are, or they aren’t. Pisces is a sign that represents dissolution but also, in my eyes, radical acceptance for what is. If you look at Pisces’ polarity, Virgo – the sign of judgment, critical analysis, etc – we see the world more through the lens of “This is the right way” and “this is the wrong way.” In Pisces’ world, any way is right, because all paths, no matter how windy, indirect or convoluted, are intending us all in the same direction. That is, in the direction of the divine will – our reunion with the Oneness. There is almost a complete lack of discrimination here, which in a way can be quite wonderful, but is also sensitive Pisces’ major Achilles heel. In the world we live in, discernment is a necessary skill, or else we can easily allow ourselves to be mercilessly thrashed by every oncoming wind and wave – taking on the woes and troubles of everyone we meet and eventually drowning in the muck. Nonetheless, in the right time and the right place, these non-discriminating states can open us to experiences of otherworldly beauty, deep heart healing, and the simple, evolving process of living without needing to have a reason.

Experience within this realm has taught me that at its highest level, Pisces work is soul work. Everything we deemed important can be taken in a second out to sea, and we find that we are left alone with just the core of our inner self, our inner want, our inner calling. There was nothing we could have done to discover this inner self, it was actually there all along – it was just the conditioning that we carry and all the stuff we cloak ourselves with that was covering it. Often it is the clinging to these cloaks that causes the pain and disillusionment often associated with Neptune (Pisces realm) transits. In this realm, we really grapple with what is REAL – as in what is TRUE – and what is just an illusion. Our inner vision is suddenly awakened, and our inner atmosphere seems more permeable and more impressionable than before. Ordinary encounters now possess many layers– mixed signals, hidden motives, emotional manipulations – and can become quite tiring to experience, much less sort through and understand. Becoming aware of the subconscious noise within ourselves and others can be disorienting, but it is in our allowing that these confusing experiences also become teachers. Rather than resist, try to fix, or resolve, we let the process unfold naturally and reveal to us the hidden aspects that we were previously unable to discern. And then, these experiences that once vexed us become gifts of insight and crystal clear clarity. All this is accomplished quite effortlessly. It is said that muddy waters become clear once settled. This is exactly the lesson of Pisces/Neptune. Through letting be and doing nothing, clarity comes on its own.

Another major feature of the past month’s work in Pisces has, of course, been our work with Chiron as both Venus and Mars made aspect to this planet/asteroid in the course of its journey the past few weeks. Chiron represents wounding, healing, and wounding all over again. So while the Pisces sea always seems to me like this place of unstructured randomness and free form emotion, there was also this added element of primal wounding at work. I saw this play out in my life in several ways – the most potent example for me was the day before the Chiron-Mars conjunction on January 31st, my sister’s Chiron in Taurus (wounds surrounding money, material possessions, worth and self worth) was activated when she peeled off the top of her moving truck on a low clearance overpass (at a bank, no less) just moments after I had decided to ignore an intuitive message that was repeatedly prompting me to warn my sister about said overpass, triggering my own Chiron-in-Gemini dilemmas (Gemini is not only the sign of communication, but it is also the sign of siblings. Seriously. Astrology is that literal.) Over the course of the following days and weeks, I found myself really working deeply with my emotions surrounding my siblings, and in an even bigger way – my struggles surrounding self expression, conveying information/truth, and listening to my inner voice. This week, as Venus came into aspect with Chiron on Monday, I found myself looking at this wound again as I fumble through a new intuitive process for me – working with the Akashic Records. Although I had one extraordinarily amazing adventure in the records in the beginning (which I hope to share in some future time), the subsequent process has mostly been an exercise in breaking through incredible inner resistance. At the same time, this has also been illuminating in itself, as I am learning about this resistance more intimately and also receiving instructions (abstract as they may be) on how to actually CLEAR these energetic barriers that have been ailing me most of my life. Communicating truth (Chiron in Gemini) has been a major source of wounding for me. I have either told the truth at all the wrong times, in all the wrong ways, or withheld the truth at all the wrong times, in the wrong ways… and from my fraught perspective – there’s been almost nothing in between. The reality is, there are plenty of times when my communication skills have actually been lauded and I really flow with my divine truth (just as I have observed individuals with Chiron in Taurus, who usually fret about finances and success, experience great rewards and praise for their steadfast, fastidious & level headed hard work). So in some totally contrary way, communicating truth is also my divine gift. But this is Chiron we are talking about – so akin to Saturn, this divine gift does not necessarily come easily at all times. It must go through a lifetime of painful trials and total failures in order to find that central, refined place where the aspect of our lives that we’re always screwing up and feel real sensitive about evolves into our natural source of healing.

This principle of Chiron will apply to you differently, depending on where Chiron is in your chart. For my sister with Chiron in Taurus, we spent three days at my house with the ripped up truck in the driveway and all she could do between frustrating phone calls with the truck company was sit in a room away with no view of it and refer to “The Monster In the Driveway” with slight fear and trepidation. The truck had become the manifestation of her inner Chirotic dilemma. The very picture of everything wrong. Chiron can feel very much like the “Monster In the Driveway” – a giant gaping THING that we’re perpetually having problems with and feel like everyone sees. It’s where we feel like we’ve been walking around half exposed, and are unable to escape our own folly. It’s where we’re vulnerable, weak, struggle to trust, and feel like we’re failing. In fact, it was the question, “Why do I feel like a failure?” that brought me my most important guidance with reference to my troubles with inner listening. Failures are moments when things are the exact opposite of how we want them to be. Moments when we feel we’ve met a dead end, where we’ve made the same error too many times, or create an obstacle for ourselves through our expectations. Moments where we’re required to do one of two things – take a totally new approach, or further refine our way of being in order to create a new pathway for success. When we have the courage to not only face our wound, but begin the work of reframing our life according to the new knowledge gained through the wounding experience, we then transition into the energy of healing. Not only for ourselves, but also for the other people we meet along the way who can now benefit from our experiences.

I find myself thinking of the guidance from Hexagram 39 “Obstruction” in the I-Ching – this is a teaching I find myself returning to frequently, and speaks very much to the considerations I brought to this post. In summary of these reflections, I leave you with this…

During times of obstruction, one should be still and practice cultivation. This opportunity should be used to gather energy, instead of complicating matters with impatience and struggle. When one has a positive attitude, even the highest mountain seems lower and the deepest water more shallow. Inner strength can make obstructions seem less imposing.

Attempting to fight an obstruction directly can often become an obstacle to breakthrough. Instead of battling the difficulty head on, one can overcome the obstacle by simply letting go and ceasing the struggle. Both benefit and growth can result from a so-called obstruction.

Obstructions are met daily when things do not go as planned. In the process of growth, obstructions are met thousands of times over and usually generate great despair. One who wishes to move forward, but is unable to do so because of restrictions, can respond by changing direction and taking another path, one that goes inward or upward. Sometimes what appears difficult is actually a protection or an opportunity for spiritual growth. All great achievements are attained through the positive use of obstructions.

Without an obstacle there can be no breakthrough.

 -- Excerpts from Ni, Hua-Ching, I-Ching: The Book Of Changes and the Unchanging Truth, Hex. 39 “Obstruction”