letting go

April 18, 2015: New Moon in Aries "Divine Inspiration"

This Saturday, we step out of eclipse season with a refreshing new moon in Aries. The eclipse cycle brought the energy of “letting go” to culmination in a powerful way. Through the past several weeks and months we have learned lessons about “letting go” that perhaps we haven’t known in quite this way before. The season of dissolution was spelled out in the charts, but in walking through it, so much more is being revealed to me about what this time in humanity is really about.

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The things we’ve been releasing are deep, old, and often subconscious. They are issues long standing, going far beyond just ourselves and often into the ancestry and history we have been brought into. To me, this is the world changing from the inside out. This is a moment in time when we have a much higher ability to see what's past as past, and move in the now as now.  We are sloughing off our most deep-seated conflicts with unprecedented ease and finding the creative force within us that feels empowered to make real changes.

What I have been observing is that replaying the story behind the conflict or wound is less and less important. Yes, there may be some tears and sad feelings, but at the end of it, when we find ourselves exhausted by the act of holding on, the concern for the past fades quickly and we're directed to the next thing.  The process is simply a matter of acknowledging what caused us pain, and then making conscious choices to invite new energy into our lives.  No fanfare and no drama necessary.

The Libra full moon brought up issues of balance in all facets of our lives, most especially our close intimate relationships. Relationships are often where we meet the alchemical fire with the most intensity. Our partners are our mirrors. It is through our close personal relationships where we are most challenged to live out the things we might find much easier to do with acquaintances, clients, business partners, etc. – Listen truly, have compassion, be independent yet united, make changes and compromises, and really, truly, let go. Relationships teach us everything we need to know about ourselves and how we approach the world. Where do we need to stand up for ourselves? (Aries) Where should we soften, yield and compromise? (Libra) What is really important in life – being right (Aries) or being together (Libra)? Are all things equal and respected (Libra) or is one partner getting his or her way only (Aries)? Are we making unreasonable demands when there is a middle road? Or is there something else that might be more true, more fulfilling, more in line with our life as it stands now?

These are the questions I observed in the countless relationship eruptions that have appeared before me in the past several weeks. The basic energy of the lunar eclipse brought up all of our issues and conflicts, in particular the desire to be free of controlling influences brought on by the people and things in our lives, as well as intense release within our own selves surrounding subconscious behaviors that keep us feeling caged. The wisdom that came through, for me, was that when we agree to let go and truly listen in a relationship, we are also agreeing to abandon the irritating and often pointless loops we cycle through with our closest loved ones. Rather than reengage, reattach, and reinjure, we can come to the point of realization that some things are better left where they are, and that real freedom from the conflict comes from acceptance, forgiveness, and the conscious will to move forward. To make the choice of healing, listening, and caring – all of the things we really want out of our relationships and so often find elusive when we get hung up on the offenses. Letting go is as simple as recognizing that it is not necessary to reengage with negative experiences or emotions, especially if our wish is to be free of them. We can actually just say OK, I’m ready to move forward, and do that.

So in the spirit of that, I am ready move on and talk more about the fantastic energy of this New Moon in Aries.

I felt it was important to speak on my further reflections about the nature of “letting go” as it has come to us these past months because Aries is so much about initiation and creating the new. Recent times have given us a lot information about what we don’t want, what we need to get rid of, and so forth. As such, we should have a much clearer idea of what we truly do want. What makes your heart sing? Where do you feel in your groove? What gives you strength? What aspects of your life would you most like to focus on reforming and rebuilding? Who are you now?

This is one of the best times of year to set intentions for the seeds we’d like to plant for the future. Whether they be intentions to improve upon yourself in some fashion, bring certain new energies into your relationships, your business, your social life, to finish or start projects, improve your financial situation, find your true calling, or really, just about anything that you would like to see be different in your life, this is a great time to initiate progress on those aspects.

What I am seeing in the chart of this Aries New Moon is that what we are initiating is strongly intertwined with our ideals and sense of “higher purpose.” We’ve spent a lot of time this winter reflecting on our impediments, and asking ourselves what holds us back. Now it’s time to define what we want to do and be and then do it! Green light, go!

Of course, know that we are still in for some months of limbo between starting new things, and clearing out the old. Both of these things are happening simultaneously, but the phase of action is coming in more strongly, as the phase of release recedes somewhat. What is important right now is not that it all needs to be done exactly as we picture it right away, but to really envision and feel what it is we’re looking to align with and to start laying the groundwork in real time.

The energy of this new moon feels fresh and joyful to me. It feels serious and determined, yet wholehearted and free. We get to work with our life from a clean slate, if we wish it to be so. We get to reshape our life as we see fit, if we have the courage. The structure of things seems more malleable, giving way to a sense that the possibilities are truly endless… the only thing that stands in between who we are in this moment, and who we wish to be in the future, is work. So thus it is liberating, but also focused – as it lies on the individual to create the desired outcome. In the greater context, all of our individual dreams for a positive future, for a world that stands for love, and our inner work to make such a thing so in our lives, is the force that shifts the outer world to be closer to what we have hoped it to be. It is requiring considerable effort on the parts of everyone who desires to create their life around their essential joy, goodness, and happiness – but it is also a cumulative effort. The more the possibilities of joyful living are expressed through individuals, the more openness is allowed for more and more people to claim their own form of joy.

It is my perspective that the most beautiful gift we can give in life and in service, is the complete embodiment of our own true selves. To caretake, to perform, to teach, to share, to write, to sing, to anaylize, to build – wherever it is we find our brilliance. Wherever it is we provide in a way that brings us a feeling of our own warmth. These are the things that are truly important for us to believe in, to develop, and to become.

Aries is the sign of innocence. It knows not and cares not about others. It never compares itself, it just lets itself be who it is, charging its way through life, perhaps, but nonetheless, a fearless and direct force.

Find the heart of this within yourself. Not from a space of ego, headiness, or grandiosity – but from the distilled truth of the past several weeks, months, and years.

Who are you really? And what have you come to be?

Courage, integrity, fortitude.

These are the pillars we develop through the positive use of trying experiences. Through all choices to walk in the world as we are and as we wish the world to be. It is our willingness to endure and to evolve that gets us to the next level. Be righteous with your choices, and the world can become something more beautiful and something more great.

Aries energy, despite its reputation for its me first perspective, impulsive behavior, and volatility, carries with it an important reminder:

EVERYTHING STARTS WITH YOU.

Everything we do, everything we want, everything we are.

Who are you really? What is at your core? What is it you want most deeply, more than anything else in the world?

Embrace it. Be it. Live it.

And pour it out through your heart as inspired lightness, true happiness, and love.

April 4, 2015: Total Lunar Eclipse "PURIFICATION" // Libra Full Moon

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Since Monday, I have been noticing the energetic build up to Saturday’s Lunar Eclipse. Every time I have left the sanctuary of my home, the world around seems to be teeming with chaotic vibes. Sirens, noise, agitation, strange encounters, and an overall energy of tension. It is a fire, but it’s not necessarily an angry fire. Nor is it carefree. I can feel it in my own physical body -- the grip of the mind attempting to hang on and having to coax it with special attention to rest, relax, and open. It is not that there are a lot of thoughts, but rather a sudden awareness of the iron-like vice of various egoic and emotional states, many of which I am not even consciously aware of. Some of which might not even be mine personally. When a wildfire caught on a mountain just a few miles away from my house, blowing and burning away over 500 acres of mountainside forest, the word that immediately came to mind was “Purification.” Tuesday night, as the town was crawling with unusual activity, I stopped to observe the burning mountain.

Firefighters from all over were at the scene attempting to contain a fire in windy conditions and extremely rugged terrain where vehicles could not travel. Again and again, since I have lived in Western North Carolina nature has shown me its abiding and unending power. The idea that mankind has at any time in history felt he has “control” seems increasingly laughable. For here in this environment, there is absolutely no manmade thing that can survive the rainfall, plant overgrowth, flooding, landslides, etc, without constant upkeep, and now – even a fire can start out of nowhere and creep steadily towards civilization with raging indifference.

It is the perfect metaphor for all that we have been experiencing.

Since the Winter Solstice, we have been undergoing an intense, oceanic process of reflection and purging. The New Moon Solar Eclipse two weeks ago was the climatic point of this long process of inner observation and feeling. Many people have found themselves in a state of grieving over things long since past, believed to be healed, or even, inexplicably, for no nameable reason. There is a feeling ‘Like life itself is dying’ to quote my own journals -- A deep sadness that is accompanied by a sense of ending, even if the departure is a welcome one. This underlying feeling does not seem to negate any good feelings we might have about the future, but the present situation is one of powerful unburdening, release, and letting go – and all of the sadness, apprehension, and fear that goes with it!

As we have traveled into this week of the Lunar Eclipse I have begun to really feel the ‘fire.’ That is, the Aries fire. It feels much like the fire on the mountain here outside of Asheville. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and represents initiating energy as well as innocence, purity, and freedom. The vibe of this time has had a strong element of initiation, but it is intrinsically paired with what feels to me like an alchemical firing process. This is the doorway of space and time that we have been awaiting for some years. By fall, once the Saturn retrograde cycle is complete and we enter another eclipse season, we will have fully crossed the burning lake into the next dimension of our collective human life experience.

Remember, we are still in the energy of the Pisces New Moon eclipse that is primarily about relinquishing the past. All unfolding energies subsequent still harken back to this essential concept. These are eclipses of karmic release – very profound, soul level, collective, world shaking, yet deeply personal transition. It does not stop after this month – as the influence of eclipses is with us for six months – so see this as a tipping point with reference to recent inner processes. What has happened this week, as the Aries energy has been accentuated by the Sun’s travels through the strong currents here, is the feeling that the emotions have surfaced and now we must burn them away.

This is BIG energy. About as big as it gets. But yet, we are not meant to try and manage or control it, per se. Simply we are to be its witness… and allow our lives to change in accordance rather than resistance. Our work now is not a directive, must do, must act, type of work – it is rather something more subtle: to look within, to allow what arises to arise, and then to open the door for its leaving. It is as if, perhaps, we are walking on coals – there is not pain in an overwhelming sense, rather a heat that continually churns, and our body sweats and purges. Stuck feelings deep within us purge through our skin, and the heat of the fire evaporates them. We are creating an empty space. This is a release of conditioning: societal, familial, and personal that over the years have blocked or hindered our connection to spirit. The idea now seems to be that the life of disconnection is no longer amenable.

We will be shown the way to clarity. We will be given the “why” for all of the recent years’ turmoil. But first we need to find “true north.” The true center of our being. The truth of us beneath all of the emotional layers that we have worn for years upon years – even beyond this life. This is the release of the “small self” or the “ego self.”

The process of emptying past experiences can be difficult because so often we identify with the past as being “who we are.” But it is not the truth. The past does not define us, good or bad. Or, at least, we do not have to let it define us.

Often our “identities” are like relationships that obstruct true flow in our lives. For life is change – one second we are this, another we are that. The only way to be all of it is to be none of it. Wonderful magic exists everywhere, every day, and is freely at our disposal. Who we are on the outside is not important, it is our resiliency and willingness to adapt that enriches us. Sometimes we have to suspend our notions of who we are to welcome growth and new opportunities. Think about it – does joy really come to us when we’re attaching to our roles? Or does it come when we open our hearts to the possibilities we have not previously imagined?

Aries energy is like a child. Fresh, pure, and innocent. It doesn’t even know who it is yet! So what I am saying is -- emptying is opening. The more structures we remove around our identity, the more peace we feel in our hearts. The more we explore what is ego and what is truth, the more we discover our universal nature. We can remove our identity and still be ourselves. We can release history, and still be forthright in the now. We can yield to powerful currents, and still maintain our grace.

Walk through the fire. Burn away your fear. Burn away your grief. Burn away your history. Burn away your very self.

For beneath the ash is a tiny sprout. A new tree. A renewed state of being. A fresh start.

It is not for us to dictate. No, rather, it is for us to face, with courage, a process of transformation that can shape the world, if we let it.

A Season of Love & Surrender: Total Solar Eclipse on the Spring Equinox

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My writing about eclipses has lost some of its thunder due to the amazing abundance of great information already out there about what is going on in a technical sense. I felt -- Why add to the redundancy? Instead, I wrote a piece to cover everything I was just simply feeling intuitively about the Solar Eclipse chart, and in my own life. The biggest message I received in my contemplations of 29 Pisces was “The end of victim consciousness and realizing the divine order.” So I present some words on all that I have been seeing, feeling, and experiencing with reference to these recent and momentous astrological currents...

The old self is dying. The future is arriving. Our grief is profound, our new freedom amazing. What we want and wish for the past we know is no longer, and we let it go. Maybe joyfully, maybe with some reluctance. We love and embrace who we were, we celebrate everything that we’ve been through these tumultuous years -- we feel all of our pain, all of our joy, as one unified emotion of gratitude. Blessed to have known these octaves of experience, blessed to have received the gift of life – in this moment, at this time, at this place. Life is different now, the world is different now.  It has all been altered – permanently and irreversibly. For better or worse, everything has changed.

We knew all along that one day this change would come. At least, many of us did – if not consciously, then somewhere deep in our cells. We knew that there would be a moment in time when the world itself was to pass through a threshold of being and that every glorious romance of life as we once knew it would yield to the current of memory. We let go of what we cannot carry. We surrender even our most cherished parts. And we do so with the hope and the anticipation of a future that is beyond the bittersweet and delicate well of our past. A future that, until now, has resided only in dreams.

Today is the day we end our consciousness of victimhood and take full responsibility for our soul purpose. Now is the time to realize our authentic self expression, to create our high ideals, to be our dreamselves. This is the moment we make our final break from the old paradigms – purge the collective record of karma through magical thinking and free our value from sinking foundations. It is not the external world that needs to be righted, it is us. Ourselves. No outer form truly changes without the authentic evolution of inner conditions. Take off the masks. Especially the ones that seem the most real.

Release history, embrace love. This is not just new age tripe or a dismissal of the real. A friend offered this message at precisely the moment I fumbled to find these same words: “We can no longer teach through pain.” Have gratitude for your loss. Hold your pain in your arms and squeeze it with all your love and compassion. Then turn it over. Ask the universe to bring the love you feel for that old self into the present day, into your current relationships, into what you share with others. Remove your own bitterness, your own anger. Remove the bitterness, sadness, and regret of your ancestors. Tell them you will live out your destiny, whatever that may be, whatever it may mean. Be open to change. We live our destiny for the highest good of all peoples past and present. We step into our conscious power in order to completely surrender into divine service. Releasing, purifying, questing, feeling, experiencing – hurt, loss, joy, love, anger, grief, despair, elation – to know it, to know us, deeply, all of it – this is the purpose of life on earth.

There is a world beyond our suffering. It is deep and rich. Full and vibrant. There is a world beyond our fear. It is light and free. Open and endless. Do not tarnish it with doubt, heavy expectations or social chains. We are all capable of complete freedom. We are all capable of seeing reality – Oneness, divine harmony. We all can know our true center, which is the same as knowing truth. Sincere intent, humble gratitude, virtuous action, heartfelt humanhood. The simple path to joy.

In choosing to accept all that is offered to us in life, whether it looks just how we think it should or not, whether it ends up hurting in the end or not, whether it is the final destination or not, we choose to open to every possibility, every learning. We open to Tao, Source, The Divine Flow, God, Our Higher Self -- whatever words you choose to express the concept of deep, intimate connection with the unique rhythm of your own individual design and its place in the greater cosmos. The Divine Order of Pisces is in accepting life as it is, with no alterations, no manipulations, and to live from our heart – emanating, eternally, the infinite vibration of Divine Love -- and surrendering everything, absolutely everything, that could possibly interfere with that state of supreme acceptance.  Holiness.  Oneness.

We can all be this.  It is not something we even have to acquire.

A final word, from my Sifu: “Surrender to the Universe and the Universe will surrender to you.”

Processing Time

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Wow, what a week. The eclipse this past weekend was unexpectedly intense. Closely aspecting Neptune and occurring just after a jolt from Pluto & Uranus, the unseen elements of our lives were felt much more strongly than usual. Our world was SHAKEN UP in some way, and then the eclipse came in with profound emotional illuminations and processing. We were a lot more sensitive, and with Saturn and the North Node very near the midheaven, we were again reminded of the importance of doing what is right and revising our belief systems accordingly. In effect, we are not only being shown that we must change, we were also given some pretty strong indications of why. Being a full moon, there was a culmination of events that have been in the works for some time -- since the eclipse on November 25, 2011 to be exact! This was a weekend of "reaping what you sow" and sometimes not in the easiest ways. That said, this week has continued along with the busy, busy pace of the past several, but with a sense that some of the intensity is finally waning. We're all getting a chance to rest a bit and do some processing. At the same time, there is a nice shift of energy coming in as Mars moves into Gemini, Mercury and Venus into Cancer this weekend. There will be more time to relax, while at the same time -- more social opportunities and options to expand our horizons. The energy feels to me like the period of substantial adjustment represented by these eclipses is fading and after a CRAZY winter and spring we are finally moving into a period of more productivity and outward progress in general. There is a very fertile and watery summer ahead and I think we'll all get a chance to appreciate it!